An Early Fall Day in Downtown Edmonton
Today’s Poem (Scroll past for today’s blog)
Brave Words
By: Leif Gregersen
In life we lose all that we hold so dear
And from the bonds of love too many slip
Brave words and acts can conquer any fear
As kids we wait to grow year after year
Life seems to be just like a joyful trip
In life we lose all that we hold so dear
We have so little time upon this sphere
Hold close your hopes and dreams with a tight grip
Brave words and acts can conquer any fear
There will be times of joy, good will and cheer
And even times of magical courtship
In life we lose all that we hold so dear
Go forth and don’t let yourself shed a tear
Simply be warned with just a little tip
Brave words and acts can conquer any fear
Embrace your youth with your conscience all clear
Sail proud as Captain of your own tall ship
In life we lose all that we hold so dear
Brave words and acts can conquer any fear
October 30, 2017
Hello Dear Readers! Well, I haven’t done a whole lot of writing lately, especially in this blog and so I thought I would try and put something special together. I wrote the above poem in Iambic Pentameter, in Villanelle form which calls for a lot of word trickery and writing and re-writing. Earlier today I wrote a short story which I am hoping will turn into something. I am constantly reminded as I look at the wall above my computer that I need to take my time with my work, go over it more, plan it, re-work it. These are the words of a close friend who is a bestselling author who has helped me a great deal.
On the lighter side of things, something kind of big has happened. I have had a young woman who is a film student offer to make one of my short stories into a short film. The film is about teen love, teen angst, and teen suicide. One of the amazing things about this opportunity is that I named the main character after a dear friend I knew when I was 17 who committed suicide, and the film maker has agreed to put a tribute to him in the credits.
So, since this is a mental health blog, I feel obligated to talk about my experiences with this situation. Losing someone can be a very difficult thing, compounded by a factor like suicide. I have always felt that the most important part of the grieving process in the event of a suicide is for the person grieving to forgive themselves. Everyone blames themselves I think when a suicide happens. Why didn’t I spend more time with them, why didn’t I see this coming? These are common questions. One of the most important things I recommend is that if you have experienced a loss that you go into grief counselling. When my mom passed away I went for a little while and even just a small amount of opening up, sharing about the person and getting your feelings out can do a world of good.
So what happens when you can’t afford counselling or when you don’t even live near a place where you can get it? Just now I went and did a quick Internet search and I found a number of places that offer online counselling. These may be expensive, but most likely they would be deductible, and may even be covered by a work insurance plan. I know that in Edmonton where I live I have been able to access counselling totally free through a couple of agencies here.
The next part is tougher than the first, and the first one I know is difficult (the first one being counselling) this is, when is it okay to move on, find a new partner after losing one, making new friends? It can be difficult to make friends because if you lose a friend you will often be in a poor state of mind which may make it difficult for you to connect with new people you meet. This can be a situation where in some ways you need to force yourself a bit, and lean on others a little. One piece of advice a friend gave me when I first went into the psychiatric hospital was that you should make a group of friends that you can talk honestly and openly to, and never lean to heavily on any one of them. Support groups may not be the best place to make friends, and I strongly feel they are not the place to form relationships. People there are working on themselves and likely don’t need more stress. This is where it can really come in handy to have a hobby or a sport that you like. A sport, say badminton or swimming can be great. You can look up and attend events, or go to the pool each morning and start to make friends with people you have something in common with. Don’t stop going to your counselling or support groups if you have been lucky enough to find ones that work for you. But maybe keep those things private. I feel that you don’t really need to tell anyone about that sort of thing unless you are going to enter a committed, intimate relationship, and even then what you share is up to you. I hope some of this helps, thanks for tuning in and hope to chat with you soon!
Leif